The weird foods you heard about, eaten for you...

Have you ever wondered about some of the more weirder items in the supermarket as to what the fuck they are? Well look at this blog as in delves into some supermarket non-staples and goes where most North American taste-buds have never gone before.

Classified under: Food,

NEW ACME NOVELTY LIBRARY!

After about 3 years a BRAND NEW ACME Novelty Library is finally coming!
Chris Ware is a god! I would so trample people to get this. Too bad comics never reach the level of popularity where trampling is even remotely a concern. Cause it'd be fun. As long as you're not getting trampeled.

Classified under: Chris Ware,ACME Novelty Library,comics

Plug Pulled on Dalek Porn! (so to speak)

Abducted by the Daloids is a lesbian/robot adult video. It was given limited release (1000 discs) but promptly taken out of circulation by the Estate of the creator of the Daleks, Terry Nation and the BBC.

The story centers around three sexy young disco babes who have met the mysterious Anna. As they journey through the woods they discuss the legend of The Serial Skinner not knowing that they are already being observed by a more ambitious and ruthless species of Alien.... the daleks!!!

To cut to the chase - literally - here's how UK tabloid the Sun describes it: "Dr Who's foes capture three naked 'disco babes' in the 18-rated DVD. They chase the girls around their spaceship and grope them with their plungers."

Oh dear, oh dear. The director of Terry Nation's estate, Tim Hancock, told the paper: "The reason the Daleks are still the most sinister thing in the universe is because they do not make things like porn. They weren't ever intended to be sexual creatures. It's simple, Daleks do not do porn."

Classified under: Dr. Who,daleks,porn

Wait for the Bling

Is it just me, or does this billboard seem to be promoting prostitution rather than abstinence? Yes, it is a real billboard and real campaign being used in Iowa.

Courtesy Pandagon

Classified under: abstinence, sex ed, prostitution

The Real End to Calvin & Hobbes

I found this on my friend Billy Ballard's blog, and had to appropriate it. A fan-made more realistic, and heart-wrenchingly sad alternate ending to the Calvin & Hobbes strip.

Click to enlarge.


Classified under: Calvin and Hobbes,comics

Bill Plympton & Kanye West

Here is one of two new videos for Heard 'Em Say. I myself am really not a fan of Kanye West, but I know half the world is ga-ga over his stuff, and I really do love Bill Plympton's animation, so that makes this video watchable. Especially on mute, especially since it features a guy from Maroon 5. (A band I truly hate) But I digress, I realize that Kanye's talented and fellow MKZ contributor Rob loves his stuff, so I'll stop with the hate.
I did like that he said George Bush hates black people on live TV. That took balls. There's some BET interview preamble before the video starts.
(The video is a WMV)

Classified under: Bill Plympton,Kanye West,music video,animation

Kazakhstan is out to stop the proud Borat

Apparently Borat has garnered the attention and full internet fury of the Kazakstan's Ministry of Interest

We want to tell all those who make fun of us that he is really an actor who is try to portray us as a drunk fighting people. We are not like this at all.

Classified under: borat,

Following the parodying of The Shining Movie Trailer

We present Big...the THRILLER.

Best Word Book Ever Revised Edition Comparisons

Best Word Book Ever - Cover

In 1991 Richard Scary's Best Book Ever was revised *heavily* to be more politically correct. Female teachers made male, male construction workers made female, and fathers introduced into settings left right and centre. None of the characters are allowed to be labeled as "handsome" or "beautiful" anymore, I suppose that labelling people with "compliments" is offensive or something.
Now you're probably thinking, what's the big deal? But think about this; how would people feel if say, the ending to 1984 was changed and Winston changed the world! Or maybe Big Brother *REALLY* was right all along? What I'm getting to is, when a book is good, leave it alone. Don't change it. Especially when it's the BEST word book EVER.

Classified under: Richard Scary,books,censorship

Meanwhile, in Hong Kong, Nazi chic is the new Che chic

Classified under: nazis,fashion,Hong Kong

Bryan Lee O'Malley's band featured on this week's Apparat Program

Scott Pilgrm creator and damn fine artist, Bryan Lee O'Malley's band, Kupek is being featured in Warren Ellis' weekly podcast. The music is what you'd expect after reading O'Malley's work, musical poutine that mixes Super Mario Bros 2 level selection-esque beats with a dallop of Win Butler's sorta, but not quite, rasp. If you're keen on listening to his music, but want to get it in a more distilled form, check out this website.
Classified under: music,Bryan Lee O'Malley,Kupek

You wouldn't believe itif I didn't show it.

Behold..the Asian PRINCE!

Former Canadian Minister of Defence commits career suicide by announcing his belief in aliens and UFOs

, "I'm so concerned about what the consequences might be of starting an intergalactic war, that I just think I had to say something."

Hellyer revealed, "The secrecy involved in all matters pertaining to the Roswell incident was unparalled. The classification was, from the outset, above top secret, so the vast majority of U.S. officials and politicians, let alone a mere allied minister of defence, were never in-the-loop."

Hellyer warned, "The United States military are preparing weapons which could be used against the aliens, and they could get us into an intergalactic war without us ever having any warning. He stated, "The Bush administration has finally agreed to let the military build a forward base on the moon, which will put them in a better position to keep track of the goings and comings of the visitors from space, and to shoot at them, if they so decide."

Hellyer’s speech ended with a standing ovation. He said, "The time has come to lift the veil of secrecy, and let the truth emerge, so there can be a real and informed debate, about one of the most important problems facing our planet today."

There's more here.This is sadder than Stephen's Harpers attempts to take over the government.

Classified under: Canada,UFOs

World's shittiest mix tape goes on tour

Anyone that has worked with me on any type of work during the summer has undoubtably heard my tiriade about how much I loathe LFO's Summer Girls. The song is the bastard offspring of Barenaked Ladies' One Week and a gangbang of boyband love songs. I'm not sure which clever lyracist thought that an admission of vomitting due to MSG and the cultural influence on New Kids On the Block would make a teenaged girl's panties moist. I doubt that it could even create a bicurious erection.

Does anyone have any other songs that they'd put on the world's shittiest mix tape? I'd put that Lenny Cravitz song from last summer's Gap commercial with the woman whose nipples are inverted from Sex in the City up there. Any other takers?
Classified under: music,

Michael Jackson is BACK in Famicom land!

Wonderful game references to NES era games and even a great fucking reference to Street Fighter 2. But yes...MJ is back to wreak some terrible destruction and reassert his mastery of all that is 8 and 16-bit. If you haven't seen the first one you can download Part 1 here

Pick out your "Wu Name"

Pre-Raphaelite Shaolin here to inform you that you too could be Wu-Tastic and hang out with the Rza and Gza with your own name!

Classified under: Wu-Tang Clan,webjunk

Do you want to see Fleur from the new Harry Potter movie naked? Oh yes you do, you crazy pervert...

Many a man shifted uncomfortably when the students of the Beauxbaton school came into Hogwarts in the new Harry Potter flick. Even Rupert Grint, playing the role of Ron in the flick mentioned how he enjoyed their behinds. But what about their breastages? Are they decent? Are they shapely and pert? Thankfully, a French flick has the answer for you. Is there drama and pathos? Since it's a French flick, it goes without saying. There's also some nipplage to offset this so called "drama". If you check this clip and this one you can see the actress that plays Fleur topless using her body as a post-it note.

Ninja Edit: Might as well show just pics too

Classified under: Harry Potter,breasts

Polar bears love seals

Who else finds scaring a Japanese celebrity to the brink of tears hilarious?

Classified under: polar bears,

Wonder Woman is the Culprit Behind 9/11!

You thought it was bin Laden. But according to this new evidence, the blame rests with a woman driver.
Classified under: Wonder Woman,9/11,Twin Towers

David Cross Music Video Mania!

The new videos for The Strokes' Juice Box and The New Pornographers' Use It both have David Cross in them. And since I strongly advocate the listening to of both of these bands, that makes it all the better. click the links and BEHOLD!!

The Strokes video is particularly funny, especially if you've ever heard David Cross' stand-up where in a profanity-laced rant he expresses his undiluted hatred of radio DJs. Considering he is one in the video.

The New Pornographers' video is much more surreal, and David Cross is but a bit player in the larger scene. Unfortunately the quality of the video is poor, but the video is good.

Classified under: music video,David Cross,New Pornographers,The Strokes

New V for Vendetta Poster

This poster is so fucking cool.

Classified under: V for Vendetta,

Read God's Debris for Free

Years ago Dilbert creator Scott Adams wrote a book, or rather a thought experiment, called God's Debris. Well, now you can read it for free. Here's an excerpt of Scott's thoughts on it, followed by the synopsis.

Frankly, this is the hardest book in the world to market. When it first came out in hardcover, booksellers couldn’t decide if it was fiction or nonfiction. Was it philosophy or religion? It’s a religion/science book written by a cartoonist, using hypnosis techniques in the writing. It’s a thought experiment. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever read. How do you sell something that can’t be explained?

Imagine that you meet a very old man who—you eventually realize—knows literally everything. Imagine that he explains for you the great mysteries of life—quantum physics, evolution, God, gravity, light, psychic phenomenon, and probability—in a way so simple, so novel, and so compelling that it all fits together and makes perfect sense. What does it feel like to suddenly understand everything?

Classified under: Scott Adams,philosophy

Superman teaser is up

And it's underwelming. Really underwelming.
Classified under: Superman,

Straight outta Japan: Bizzare Zelda rap video

My favourite bit about this off the wall music video is how it captures the sexual ambiguity of Link. I can honestly say that I can't tell if the actor is male or female. Thanks to Heather for sending this superb example of Japanese insanity my way.
Classified under: Japan,music videos,Zelda

Never Work at a Kentucky McDonald's

Ok, so to summarize, a man identifying himself as a police officer calls a McDonald's and instructs a manager to bring in a girl accused of stealing a purse. Strip search her. Make her do jumping jacks. Give a blow job to another McDonald's manager, and be sodomized by said manager. All these people doing it because a supposed police officer told them to. And they actually did it! (There was a security camera in the office.) Click the link and watch the news story to see how completely fucking stupid people can be.

Classified under: news,sexual abuse

More on Arrested Development's Cancellation

This is what David Cross thinks about the reason Arrested Development has such low ratings.

(Taken from the out-take bloopers of seasons 2)

Classified under: Arrested Development,

Boobs, butt, or shoulder?

I'm pretty sure I'd seen this before, but it was just recently brought to my attention again and it is so worth sharing.

Classified under: flash games, anatomy

Want some great Comic Book parodies?

This guy is pretty dead on for the whole X-Men psycho drama that is their stories. Hilarious and actually pretty well animated (for what it looks like), laugh at the inside jokes of it all.

Recommended

Discussion of X-Men Death
The Phoenix Saga(s)
Random musings
House of M: Part 1Part 2
Villains Costume Analysis

Classified under: Comics,

Who knew Porn Stars had a Sense of humour?

Dildo lightsabers. Apparently it was from the film called Sky's Day Off. I'm surprised as fuck considering that entire clip is somehow better than the entire Star Wars Episode 3 film. But then again I'm biased. Apparenly there are extras of the making of the saber fight with Sky getting hit in the head accidentally and getting pissed off.

Classified under: Porn, lightsaber

Fox shitcans Arrested Development

It should be of no surprise to anyone that Fox has finally killed Arrested Development. If you look at the vast killing fields of television, you'll probably notice that Fox has been a vertitable Pol Pot in their culling of great tv. I'm of two minds about this. On one hand, I'm going to miss the show when it's off the air, but on the other hand, I'd hate for it to stay on television and become shitty, like a lot of other sitcoms that have overstayed their welcome. Hopefully fans snapping up massive copies on DVD will make them reconsider their choice, but I'm not holding my breath.
Classified under: television,Arrested Development

Doom: the audio drama

I'm not sure if I missed out on a big cultural event by opting out on Doom: the movie, but I guarentee that if you don't listen to the Doom audio drama (zip file you fill feel a gaping emptiness in your soul. It's not so much a radio drama of the yesterdays like the Shadow and X Minus One, but rather, it's closer to a Disney read along book. To get the full effect, download the drama and read along to the Doom Comic. Or play a game of Doom and talk to yourself. Either works fine.
Classified under: Doom,mp3

We love the conspiracy theories!

Apparently explosives, not airplanes caused the world trade center buildings to fall on September 11, 2001. The physics of how certain buildings fell proves it!

What I love is that this professor is from Brigham Young University, one of the most pro-Bush schools in the country. Obviously his pension for conspiracy theories overrides any church-encouraged love for the current government. What I also like is that he used evidence from the conspiracy website www.wtc7.net in his paper. Oh, and did I mention that his work is being published in a peer-reviewed publication? The article conveniently leaves the title of this publication out (my guess: The Journal of Recreational Conspiracy Theories), but then, even intelligent design has had one paper published.

Classified under: conspiracies, 9/11, world trade center

The *new* Ending to the Matrix Trilogy

When the Path of Neo video game was announced, the Wachowski Brother told the media that they'd have to change the end of the game. They said that for gamers, it wouldn't be satisfying to have your character die off after kicking ass for 12+ hours. So what's the new ending like? Does it contain more pointless philosophy? Thanksfully, no. The ending to the Path of Neo is the ending to Grant Morrison's Animal Man meets Takashi Miike's Dead or Alive. It's the Wachowski Brothers aping Metal Gear Solid 2. It's absolutely brilliant! There's three files that you'll have to download to watch it. Here's the first, second and third. Enjoy!
Classified under: the Matrix,the Path of Neo

The films of Albert Pyun

When it comes to the pantheon of shitty film directors, Albert Pyun is hardly a "name" like Uwe Boll or Ed Wood is. Looking at his body of work, it's a shame that he's not more well known. If you're like me, and grew up during the 80s, during the drought of good Marvel flicks, you chanced the Captain America movie. Yeah, the movie where the Red Skull is Itallian and Cap has rubber ears is one of Pyun's finer films. If you're truly mascochistic, you can check out his website and watch the trailers for his body of work. I highly recommnend checking out the one for the fourth Nemesis movie. There, you get to see naked breastacles and hear one of the most bizzare "in a world" voice overs ever. IT's truly a work of art.
Classified under: movies,Albert Pyun

New White Stripes Video (guest starring Conan O'Brien!)

I love the White Stripes, and I love Conan O'Brien, and I love director Michel Gondry, and this fuckin beauty of a video brings all those elements together and I suggest that you take a look immediately.

Classified under: White Stripes,Conan O'Brien,Michel Gondry,music video

Zhang Ziyi's ass: the best editorial *ever*!

There's a couple things that the Chinese do better than anyone else in the world: Chinese food (obviously), wire-fu movies and action ballads involving guns and babies (that is, until Shoot 'Em Up comes out). With a recent op-ed writen up on Memoirs of a Geisha, it's time to add crazy editorials to the last.
"What?", you say, "How can Chinese editorials be better than the malicious rants of angry Americans?" Simple, the writer pontificates about the ass of Zhang Ziyi and how it affects China. Rumour has it that Zhang Ziyi's ass will play a prominant role in the upcoming Oscar bait Memoirs of a Geisha during a sex scene with Japanese actor Ken Wanatabe. And this has cased a rucus. From the editorial (which is ace!)

This time, it was movie star Zhang Ziyi's turn to represent the face of the Chinese people. Zhang Ziyi takes off her pants and shows her big white butt. This was just perfect for them to issue condemnations, as if Zhang Ziyi's but represents the face of the Chinese.

Let us look at what Shi Changqing wrote:

She is not being screwed by just one Japanese person, for she is being screwed by every Japanese person! She is not the only person to be screwed by the Japanese people, for every Chinese person is being screwed by the Japanese people! She let shame fall on the Chinese people! How could such a person deserve to be a Chinese?

After reading those words, I became super-dispirited. How did all the Chinese people get screwed by all the Japanese people? If you think that Zhang Ziyi's butt can represent your face, then I do not object to that. But could you please not bring the entire Chinese population into this! When I read your words, I did not feel screwed by the Japanese people; instead I thought that you were screwing me when you decided to use Zhang Ziyi's butt to represent my face as well as the face of all the Chinese people. Why do you want to screw the Chinese people?

I, for one, am not keen on screwing the Chinese people. But if the chance is given, I'd definately screw her "big white butt".
Classified under: China,Memoirs of a Geisha,editorials

Zinda: the Bollywood remake of Oldboy

I've been on a bit of a Bollywood kick lately and the news that the Indians are remaking Oldboy tickles me pink. You can check out the trailer (realtime file) and see for your selves how utterly cool it's going to be. Judging from the scant trailer footage it's going to be an almost shot for shot remake of the flick. For those of you that worry that there'll be musical interludes with songs like "If I Had a Hammer" and "Hypnonize", take heart, this movie contains to musical numbers, only, acording to rumour a toe tapping moment. Ace!
Classified under: Bollywood,Oldboy